State-Of-The-Art Flesh Cleanser
by Rahawa Haile
We could start with our intermediate abrasion package at $80,000, covering all blemishes head to fin. Access to our posture correction vats is available daily at no extra charge. We suggest, however, full spinal submersion no less than two hours after restitching. The skin needs time to find itself once washed and folded anew.
If this is your first shedding, we recommend the preprogrammed instructional video now looping in your suite. Between the two of us, most fainting appears triggered by the pitch of the process. Unzipping never sounds the way people expect, but can you blame the body for screaming?
As for the feeling of the thing, why there’s nothing quite like it. Imagine something good. Now imagine something better–virgin, undervalued property, perhaps. It trumps by a factor of ten. Our state-of-the-art flesh cleanser is guaranteed to restore joint mobility in the most infirm among us. Many also opt for our advanced muscle memory infusion at an extra $35,000 per limb. Who’s to judge? Simply point to the vial bearing the marketable skill of your choosing and blink into the retina scanner when called upon. We recommend consulting one of our physicians prior to enhancement to ensure a proper fit.
The old you won’t recognize the new you. And who can blame it? It was never this good. Renewed vitality in the sharp light of science can be heartrending. Please note, resuscitations are included in the intermediate abrasion package at no extra charge. Client, what you’ll feel upon emerging, sewn up and trim, hold on to it. Let the numbing agents wear off and the hair serum settle, and never let it go. You are reborn, revalued, a work of pure wonder yet faulted by sun.
Rahawa Haile is an Eritrean-American writer of short stories and essays. Find her on Twitter at @RahawaHaile.
Image source: “Palm hand” by Cvmontuy via Creative Commons