What your literary tote bag says about you

Posted by Jason Diamond and Tobias Carroll

The Strand Bookstore tote: You probably don’t really live in New York.  Either that or you’re a freshman at NYU.

The Powell’s tote bag (if you are not from Oregon): You are an eager participant in the growing field of bookstore tourism.

The Green Apple Bookstore tote: I will act impressed as you tell me about the time you met Dave Eggers when you volunteered at 826 Valencia the same night you made out with a hot guy/girl at a party thrown by The Rumpus.  Just please don’t ask me to understand why you gave up San Francisco weather to live in a closet in Bushwick.

The Penguin tote: You had a really enjoyable time flirting with the idea of working in the publishing industry.  This tote bag is all you have to remember those times by.

The Open City tote: You once arm wrestled David Berman, or possibly a guy who looked a lot like David Berman. There was whiskey and heady talk of aesthetics; everything’s a little blurry, to be honest.

The George Orwell tote: You are probably exciting to make out with.

The NYRB Literary Greenwich Village Tote Bag: Either you: A) Constantly tell people that you “relate” to Liz Lemon on 30 Rock. B) You’re over 45. C) Only read non-fiction and poetry books.

The Skylight Books tote: You wish all bookstores had trees growing in the middle of them.

The Barnes and Noble tote: You really enjoy that copy of Freedom you bought last week.  Have fun reading it on your way back to Westchester.

The Paris Review tote: You really want to impress somebody by letting them know you read The Paris Review.  (Don’t worry, we’ve all been there.)

The N+1 tote: You probably mention in conversation that when you receive a new issue of N+1, you skip straight to the Marco Roth piece.

The PEN American Center tote: You don’t have favorite authors, you have favorite translators.

This tote: you have no problem with lying.

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