Posted by Jason Diamond
1. Milo Aukerman of The Descendents
Sure, he’s a biochemist, but who ever said biochemists couldn’t tell good stories? Maybe he could write a really good, short YA novel?
2. Stephen Malkmus (Pavement, Solo)
Buddies with David Berman (Silver Jews, poet), writes lyrics that a lot of people cream themselves over. Might be good?
3. Mark E. Smith of The Fall
Influenced the above mentioned Malkmus. Might give us a 500 page post modern novel about Captain Beefheart fighting alien witches in Chelsea, but would that really be so bad?
4. Will Oldham
It would probably be influenced heavily by the works of Faulkner and R. Kelly.
5. Ezra Koenig of Vampire Weekend
His book would probably be about being an upper class kid growing up on the Upper West Side that would be an awkward cross between Kipling, P.G. Wodehouse, and Salinger. (an urban imperialist confused about his standing in high society?). Most people would probably make fun of it, but then would probably end up buying it and liking it anyway.
6. Ted Leo
7. Jeff Mangum of Neutral Milk Hotel
At this point, if Mangum decided to stop hiding and put out anything, people would buy 50,000 of whatever it was, so a book might not be such a horrible idea since Mr. Recluse doesn’t want to make any music.
8. Zach Condon of Beirut
If you can’t get Mangum, get one of his disciples. I’m sure Condon could write a few tales about drinking exotic liquor and sleeping with prostitutes in France.
9. Will Sheff of Okkervil River
Seriously surprised this hasn’t actually happened yet.
10. Kanye West
Don’t think Kanye could pull off fiction, but a book of essays on baroque architecture and how great it is to be Kanye would probably sell in the Dan Brown numbers.