Guess the real BEA Craigslist missed connection

Posted by Jason Diamond and Tobias Carroll

“You traded me a Colin Meloy galley for a Maile Meloy galley. Our eyes met; you had to rush off to the 7x20x21 presentation before I could ask your name.”

“We had a long conversation about Edward Lear after hearing Lev Grossman recite “The Owl and the Pussycat” at Lolita. Accidentally dropped your business card while buying a vegan cupcake at Babycakes two blocks down on the way home.”

“You were at booth #212.  You may have been an intern — possibly underage.  I’m willing to take risks, but are you, my Lolita?”

“You may or may not have been Margaret Atwood.  Either way, I’m horny.”

“You were standing at the back of the main hall wearing a tight green top and skirt with wired hair, caramel complexion, sandals. I was wearing a white jacket asked for directions to Autograph area. You said “Oh I don’t know…But I have a map!” I have been looking for you ever since. Can’t get you out of my mind. Please email me I must see you again!”

3 comments

  1. Geez… those are so tame. Did you read the real ones on the real CLIST? I mean the one like:

    You had a box behind mine in the basement shipping room. I was throwing out my squeak toy (horn) from one booth and before I tossed it, I let out a squeak. You said you liked the way the horn blew, and I offered it to you. You gave me a galley/ARC about dumplings. I wanted more but was too shy to ask…

    or
    You are the guy who was at BlogWorld, the only one wearing a necktie. I sensed you were out of place among bloggers. I noticed you had on a BEA nametag instead of one from Blogworld. Were you scoping out the free pens from Groupon? Were you here for the free pasta bar and danishes? I wish your were here for another type of pastry. Email me and I will teach you about social and antisocial networking

    or
    I am the brunette from the Jewish book publisher. You are the wavy haired hottie from a Christian publisher. We met at that university press booth when we grabbed for the same piece of swag. Our eyes met. Let’s meet for coffee and discuss a forthcoming book about atheism. (Tell me what the swag item was, and I will know it is you) (ps – no, it is not the Hemingway smooth pencil set from the Cambridge Univ Press)

    or
    I wanted to talk to you so badly, but you were in the Librarians lounge eating a donut. I am not a librarian, not am i fond of donuts. So I felt a wide divide and barrier between us. Later, I saw you in autograph line number 8, but you needed a ticket to stand there, and I had none. At the authors’ breakfast, you walked after Jim Lehrer for an autograph, and I knew that I could not compare with his style. Sigh. But I do have something you want. I have the heirloom seeds packets from one of the booths. They said they were all out, and I saw your sadness. Actually I could taste your sadness in the lemon cupcakes I ate at the Abrams booth. Contact me and we can meet and you can have some of my seeds