Sadly, nobody calls me the Orson Welles of book trailers. This really is an oversight on behalf of the world at large. Shame on you. I mean I’ve written, directed, produced, shot, starred-in, catered and stunt coordinated my last three book trailers. I even whipped up a storyboard for my newest book trailer, Fake Fruit Factory, after I saw the Coen Brothers make one in the special features of Big Lebowski. Not too shabby.